It’s gotten totally out of hand. Perhaps it is the feeling of finally having disposable income. Or the shopping culture I am now immersed in. Maybe it comes from too many hours watching Sex and the City, but I have begun lately to engage in some serious retail therapy. Even now, the idea of exchanging my money for goods and services makes me feel the same guilt-tinged anticipation that I might feel right before I order one of those praline-ganache obscenities they serve at my local french-ish cafe. I know it’s bad. I know I don’t need it, but I want! I want! I want! Things to furnish my apartment that I’ll probably leave in two years. Practical things to stuff into my tiny, crowded kitchen. Things I have one of back in the states. Pretty things to put around my fingers, wrists, and neck. New clothes. New shoes. New books to put in the pile of unread books on my shelves. And this after a summer spent spending.

I was never one to do this kind of thing before. I was a hippie who got furniture off of sidewalks, who wore the same pair of shoes for a year, who never had three purses and (just counted) 26 different colors of eyeshadow. In grad  school, I had money left over to travel. Now I finish entire paychecks without having paid the electric bill. What has happened to me? Have I gotten caught up in the Dubai "do buy" mentality? When has consumerism ever been my thing? I read this article in the NY Times about purses that cost thousands of dollars. Instead of nauseating me, it made me think that I need a new handbag. A sixth.

So it is with some amount of internal conflict that I have decided to give up consumerism for Ramadan. In the same way I always tried to sympathise with Catholics by giving up something for lent, I will give up gratuitous shopping for 40 days. To truly be in the rhythm of Ramadan, I could technically shop after sunset, but no. I will not buy: those coffee table books about jewelry of the world, those three silver pendants from Turkmenistan, the new Death Cab cd, an espresso machine, a kilim, a basket for the ironing to go in, new towels, cafe au lait mugs, or any of the other tripe I’m craving right now. Absolutely no non-food items. It can wait, and if I really want it, I’ll get it later.

Ramadan started Tuesday night. I had really been hoping to get some shopping in beforehand, but got derailed. So now I have to wait. Like an alcoholic who can hear liquor calling to him from the other room, I know that I just got paid and the shops are all open late. At the grocery store, I deftly avoided looking at all the Ramadan promotions of scarves and kitchenware and tried to stick to my list. It helped that everyone and his brother was doing their pre-Iftar shopping, and I was distracted anyway by hunger-crazed shoppers. As I dodged heavy carts and screaming, running children, I almost didn’t even think about new earrings. There’s a gold shop in the grocery store.  I didn’t even look at the Body Shop, open right across the way. I was good.

It’s been, what, three days? I’m starting to look for loopholes. Could new mugs  be considered essential? The only thing that makes keeps me from slipping is the crazy shopping I’m going to do at Eid. They have amazing sales.

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